Do you ever feel doubtful?

How often do you fall down the self doubt gap in the floorboards...and how do you get back up and out again?

Quite often. This past week, almost every day. Probably be the same next week.

The more I explore my artistic/creative side the more I wonder about my song ideas... compared to all other artists I see.

Ah, but that's the little editor in you that likes to whisper things like 'see, you''ll never be like (insert artist)'; 'who are you kidding'; 'why don't you just give up & spend your time knitting'.

My work is original, yet at the same time relatively simple. I don't know if I'm ready to be 'heard'.

Your style of writing right now is your style of writing right now. Simple is often good. Believe me, for I am 'she who has too many ideas in one piece'.

I know what you're saying - you want it to be really really really good before you put it out there. And I'm like that too. But I also know that if I get too attached to it that I will not be able to listen to the feedback of my peers and learn something valuable about how to make my music more accessible or better composed.

All I can do is be where I am and allow that this artform is a process like any other, and I cannot judge myself for knowing what I know and not knowing what I don't know yet. All I know is that I am better writer today than I was last month. And part of the reason I am, is the continued support and thoughtful feedback that I get from my friends.

Why do we struggle with so many doubts? Aren't we creative & passionate & focussed on the lives of our creations while riding on a sea of doubt? I think doubts are part of the creative process. The trick is to recognize it is your active activity in spite of doubts that moves you forward.

When in doubt.... write.

"In a sense, as we are creative beings, our lives become our work of art." ~Julia Cameron (The Artist's Way)

medieval blues

I spent what feels like two weeks cooking up two short medieval instrumentals, and after all that work, have no idea what I think of them. However, they are done & submitted and now I can move on.

This week I am:

-working on an Asian-style piece with a collaborator,

-working on two arias & an original pop-classical song with my voice coach,

-working on 'happy, upbeat' and/or 'playful cartoon' instrumentals,

-having my first mandolin lesson,

-teaching my students,

-and trying to get organized in the house, ha ha.

how we work is funny

I mean "we" as human beings. So I spend most of yesterday (in between students) working on a medieval piece for two recorders (which is sounding pretty good, I think), most of the evening recording a vocal montage draft for a collab, then fooled around with a song I wrote last February to see if I can get the new orchestra stuff to make it sound better. And I go to bed thinking, 'oh, you don't do enough & you are so far behind on everything, what a waste of space, who are you kidding'. I mean really, where does that old tape come from? Pshaw!!

just another maniac Sunday

....wherein I worked on a co-write, and wrote a medieval dance piece for two recorders, and reorganized my studio set-up, tidied the house, answered emails, and worked on scheduling my students. I'm trying to get things organized so that from 12:01 am Feb 1st to 11:59 pm Feb 29th my energies can be devoted to writing for FAWM - February is Album Writing Month...

production screetches to a halt

Yeah, so, like my new audio computer, only a few months old, starts restarting itself without warning... sometimes when resting... sometimes in the middle of mix, darn it. So my hard drive has gone off to the shop to get straightened out, and I am left bereft of my music making box. However, last night I wrote a cool acoustic guitar lick that could potentially become an instrumental, and I wrote a two part medieval style instrumental for two recorders, and practiced it until I could play it up to speed. I have a coaching with my voice coach tomorrow and my first mandolin lesson in two weeks. And I called the teacher of Irish flute & pennywhistle to see about taking a class or private lessons. Hope to get my audio computer back by Thursday at the latest - I got music to make!!