I contemplate. What will today's commentary say? I remember YouTube videos I've watched this week. (I make a study of several topics.) I see, in my mind, the face of the presenters who engaged me the most. I ask myself why.
They were sharing something that meant something to them. They offered it freely, enthusiastically explaining how I could do what they do. Their message was urgent. Supportive. Encouraging.
They said, 'Yes you can.'
It makes me wonder, as I look around my untidy flat, why I don't get excited about putting things back where they belong. I will spend hours fussing with an image or a design until I am satisfied. I will revisit a composition and create multiple mixes until something inside says 'yes.'
My younger self would dress carefully for any date or gathering. Clothing, shoes, jewelry, hair, makeup... I was tremendously shy, knowing I looked as good as possible helped bolster my courage. Now I think, rather wryly, that I might have accomplished the goal of being 'well turned out' but I could seldom carry on a conversation in anything but a stilted and awkward manner. I wish I could go back and hug that me. I'd like to tell her, 'you are good enough.'
It occurs to me I am more excited about my life this year. The shadow of COVID is still there, yet we are out, going to festivals, taking trips, visiting friends, meeting for dinner, going to movies. The losses were incalculable. Many of us were deprived of income, jobs, savings; many of us had to let go of dreams and hunker down. And many of us sadly lost loved ones. Friends, family, acquaintances, forever missed.
Do we walk in the sunshine these days, thankful that we have made it through? Are we picking up the threads of those dreams we had, which needed to be put aside in 2020. Are we taking the steps needed to find our way, when the storms of change still rock the boat? Housing costs through the roof, food costs soaring (while record profits recorded), deep concern for those facing war and famine, puzzling over the future and where developing technology will take us. It's all too overwhelming.
We have the capacity to slow down our lives. Experience each moment as it happens. We have the ability to gift ourselves with time for walks, journaling, meditating, long baths, a lazy afternoon on the lawn with a good book. The key is to make that a priority.
I believe these acts of self-love will bring not only some peace to our personal world, but help us find the energy to be excited about the projects we work on and the simple successes we have on the way to achieving something that matters to us.
Art isn't an external 'thing' that we put in a cupboard or a frame and dust once in a while. As Julia Cameron says, 'as we are creative beings, our lives become our works of art.'
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