Connectedness

Today I contemplate the value of connection. Vision ourselves to be trees, rooted to the earth and entwined in the ground to keep balance and security in our lives. Our branches reach out and up towards the sun and the sky. We bend in the wind. We nourish the air with oxygen. We nourish the people who pass by with our shade and our scent and our presence.

As a shy person I always shut down in company. I disconnected myself, too fearful of what might be transmitted from me that would show me to be of questionable value. Too scared of what I might receive if I was open to others. 

It makes logical sense that someone would seek to protect themselves from the sharp edges of messages from others. Strangely, though, in that very disconnection, I felt myself alone and misunderstood.

It is not all external, either. Our own denial of self or morphing the self to please others is disconnectedness too. One cannot be rooted if constantly changing form in order to accepted by others.

I imagine myself an arbutus tree, twisting and changing direction, yet always beautiful.