flying dreams

Most of the time I dream and only fleetingly grasp at the meaning of the pictures, which fade quickly, although I have often woken up inspired or with an answer to something I've been struggling with.

But I have had dreams so powerful that I can still see the images of those dreams in my mind right now. Once, when I was a child, I was dreaming of the Disney cartoon, 'Dumbo' - the little elephant with the huge ears that everyone laughs at... of course, in my dream, I was the baby, embarrassed and ashamed and hurt by the malicious laughter of the others.... until one day, I spread my ears and flew.

The sensation in my dream was absolutely unreal. I could feel the wind rippling over my skin, my whole body vibrating with joy... soaring through the sky, looking down at the earth.

I woke up. I was lying in my bed in the fetal position - on my side with my hands wrapped around my pillow - and it took me a little while to understand I had been dreaming. I must have been only 5 or 6 at the time.

I still remember how it felt to fly.

It's interesting, cause, in a lot of ways, my life has resembled that dream. I was, for a very long time, teased and put down for being different. But my being different eventually made me stronger... and now and then, I soar.

Just two days ago, I was feeling down. It was one of those days where you feel like all your efforts are futile and maybe it's time to get a real job and who am I kidding anyway. Inside, I was feeling like that little, odd, sad baby of my dream so long ago.

Then someone sent me a lovely note about how they had felt inspired by something I wrote in my blog. Someone else wrote me a note to say how much they enjoyed my folky CD. Someone else took the time to give me some much needed information. One of my students generously drove me around to do errands (I hurt my ankle and can't walk or drive) and refused to take any money for gas or for her time. Another student gave me a hug at the end of a wonderfully moving lesson where we were both close to tears because of the beauty of the sound that he was releasing.

I can't tell you how meaningful those things are to me. Making those kinds of connections with people - deep, inner connections - in a world that seems to have lost its capacity for serenity and peace - makes it all worthwhile.

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