Do you talk to yourself?

Confession: I talk to myself. I still remember walking to school in a country lane surrounded by trees, having a nice conversation with myself when, unexpectedly, someone walked past me. Shamefaced, I stopped talking. At least until they were further away.

Of course we all know the nasty voice-in-your-head that heaps derision on your efforts to do something, or lambasts you for not doing something, or just generally makes sure you don't evolve. Verbalizing these thoughts can be really helpful in sorting out what you are telling yourself internally. 

Like writing things down, speaking thoughts out loud can help you grow awareness of your thinking. Maybe sort out what matters to you. Help make decisions more effectively.

If you find yourself feeling scattered when dealing with a sense of overwhelm, talking to yourself can keep you focused on the present moment and the task at hand. "You can do this."

It can be very helpful to speak affirmations out loud. It gives them more weight. Makes them more memorable. Reinforces them. Second or third person is better than first person. Telling yourself "You are worthy" makes it easier to embrace and accept.

Self-talk also gives you the opportunity to express something important to you. To acknowledge how you feel. "I feel anxious about this interview." 

Verbalizing my feelings before an audition or interview was an important tool in my journey. I used to hide my angst over things. By saying how I felt out loud to myself I removed denial. I gave myself a chance to cope with those feelings, and have a more positive outcome. "Breathe. Remember you are capable. Remember to listen and make eye contact. You have something to offer."

I look back at all those times I hid myself away due to fear of other people... and I can see clearly now that I actually didn't hide anything. People knew intuitively how I felt as my very self-hiding telegraphed to them my discomfort. I don't judge myself for feeling how I felt, or coping in that way. I just see it now with compassion for the wounded person I was then.

That reminds me to tell you to remember that this kind of self-talk means being aware of the negative things you say to yourself. Hear yourself. Reframe negative thoughts with a more positive attitude. "You're so lazy, you never do what you say you'll do," becomes "It takes time to make changes. It's okay to take baby steps. Slow and steady. You'll get there."

Talking to yourself grows conscious awareness. You get to hear your own thinking process. You audibly illustrate your sense of personal value. This is healthy. One could even say it's the basis of critical thinking, as that requires us to examine our own thoughts and perspectives on the road to being truly authentic.

If someone does overhear your self-talk, remember it's natural. "Just figuring out what to do next," as you smile at them.