Ebb and flow

I found it encouraging yesterday to watch a Youtube video by a visual artist and composer, who talked about the ebb and flow of creativity in his life. It made me aware that I am not alone in facing the seemingly unstructured down times that seem to hem me in more often than I would ever wish.

Why do such things happen to us? Why do we periodically give up on art and creativity? Too busy? Too lethargic? Too overwhelmed with responsibility? Too sure our offerings will be meagre and imperfect and prove our own inadequacy? 

Probably all of the above.

What is the answer? Well, I think Julia Cameron, author of 'The Artist's Way,' devised a method of staying in tune with the creative self. The two things she recommended are daily 'morning pages' and a weekly 'artist's date.'

Morning pages are simple. Write three pages of unstructured, not-stopping, whatever is in your mind stuff. Preferably (you guessed it) every morning. These help get the gloop out of your brain, and get you into the flow. I found that mine were quite boring and often contained unimportant things like what I needed to remember to get from the store and who I had to see at three o'clock that day. But I persevered, and over time I started to see patterns. One was, how much I bash myself. The other was, how often I talk about the same problem, over and over again. Both led me to make adjustments. 

It's easier to look at someone you know or someone you are mentoring and see what they are capable of, and how often they hold back. We see their abilities, and as good friends, encourage them. And perhaps brush away their supportive comments about our own creative talent. 

I think a place to start is to first begin a gratitude journal or a gratitude practice, of listing ten things each day that we're grateful for... tea, chocolate cake, helpful people, the internet, my circa 1996 car which still starts, watermelon, box fans, my landlady's garden which I am free to enjoy, music, and the ability to binge watch on Netflix.

Then, the challenge is to get up every day and do the thing we have promised ourselves to do, no matter what. Walk in the rain, sit at the desk with an empty page in front of us, open the sketchpad, watch the next tutorial on Blender or Photoshop, or look for yet another youtube explaining what equalization (EQ) is and how do actually utilize it when mixing one's current composition.

But before that, even before engaging in the artform or the learning of skills or the practice with tools, are the basics. I hesitate to say this as it seems so mundane but since I watched a video that said artistic practice starts with this, and began to do it, I do feel like something shifted. The first thing I do when I get up is make my bed. Then I gather the tea cups and water glasses and take them to the kitchen, and do the dishes. Then I wash and dress. Then it's my walk.

I have resisted routine all my life. I feel it is boring, tedious, and I'd rather do anything but. However, engaging in these simple things every day, starting with a clean slate, opened me to the flow as much as any morning pages might do... even more... because in writing morning pages with unmade bed and messy kitchen, one has reasons to bash oneself, feel despondent, and decide to do anything else but bother to engage in art. 

It's good to be back in the flow. As part of this I finally looked at the manuscripts and notes from a novel I have been working on for some years, through more than one NaNoWriMo. I have scribbled on it here and there. Finally I said, let's take the best part, rewrite & edit it, and publish it. Finally. And then I said, let's make it a series. And then I said, book two will be a brand new story. And then I said, it will be published next month. Gulp.

My composing friends have often said, don't wait for inspiration. Keep working on it daily. This puts you in a state of readiness. This invites inspiration to visit. Do the work, and then you'll be inspired. ~

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