Summer Solstice

24Jun06 - As the summer solstice began I felt a shift in energy. Even tho the sun is shining, something in me feels very low. Sometimes the struggle feels like an impossible one. I know we all feel this from time to time. I comfort myself with the knowledge that it is the *act* of creating, of playing, of singing that is meaningful to the spirit - not the validation of others. Still sometimes this journey of ours feels very lonely. You put out your CDs and post your music and play your gigs... and the money you get never covers the bills. You start to read the want ads as your heart drops through the floor.

And you wonder if you'll ever get good enough to get some real recognition or some real money. But the next day you wake up and you do it all again, because it took you so long, it took so many years to finally find your passion and live it... you just can't give up on it, no matter what. It is life to you. It's who you are and what you do all wrapped up into one. It's as vital to you as your heart and lungs.
So you weep a little, and watch dreadful re-runs on tv... and after a couple of hours, you get out the guitar and write a sad song. Somehow, you feel better.

Seasons change, pulse with fluid movement, flow softly over our consciousness... beat on our foreheads or dance on our pillows as we dream our dreams. And, from time to time, we are awake enough to acknowledge that there's something undeniably magical about being alive.

:) I don't know if any of that makes sense, but it's what came to me as I sat here clickin' on the keyboard.

No comments: