This morning I wrote my morning pages, and then went for a walk. The usual to-do list floated through my mind.. but I tried to focus on breathing the crisp morning air and feel the sun on my face. I spend too much time at the computer, writing music, writing poetry, surfing the net…. Or at the other keyboard… writing music or helping students. I remind myself that life is more than work. In my Zen book it says be like a tree… just be… not thinking, not defining things, not creating that busyness of mind that takes us away from the now… I confess I find it hard to ‘be’ like that. My mind is always creating plans of action and reminding me of what I haven’t done, should do, am neglecting, didn’t do well, should be better at, etc etc.
How does one find a balance between the persistence required to have a successful creative life – actively doing creative things… and finding solitude and peace… letting go of the outcome. My best friend and I talked about this the other day. We said our job is to put it out there… after that… it’s out of our hands. Our job is to produce it and let it go. And learn from our missteps of course. But also to take joy in the moment, just breathing and walking, reading a good book, having a great cup of coffee in our favourite cafĂ©, waking up in the middle of the night safe and warm.
I forget sometimes to remind myself how lucky I am to have the problem of writer’s block while others struggle to simply survive. I am grateful for my friends, and I am grateful for the emails and notes and posts of those who read this. I marvel at the technology that allows us to reach out and communicate with each other like this.